dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
