I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
