would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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