mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
