just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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