You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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