Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
