I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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