They should really pass out barf bags in church
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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