he thought i was a dude.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
