I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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