You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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