I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
