when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
