I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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