YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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