its not stalking. its research.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
