I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
