just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
