it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize