worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
