My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize