I think my vagina is haunted
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
