did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
