okay pat passed out under dana's car
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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