Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
