New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
