is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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