Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
