i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
