Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
