even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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