But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
