soooo we both peed the bed last night...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
