The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
