You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize