I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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