And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
