didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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