UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You took a bar mat shot.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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