Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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