If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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