I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
