He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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