Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
