Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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