im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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