just come out here and I will go home with you...
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
