I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize