oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
