dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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