Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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