her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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