TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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