you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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