toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your mouth is God's brothel.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
ttyl tear gas
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
