Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's always time for handjobs
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
